"Who are you?" For each and every one of us the answer truly is: "an infinite array of universal aspects." The group, Modest Mouse, sings: "Someday you will die and somehow something's gonna steal your carbon." I love that! But nothing's going to "steal" my carbon. I will relinquish it freely - gladly and completely! Back to the source and on to the next...
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some recent poems
Dream-Scape Discovery
sleep or words?
myth -
opening
not planned
not expected
not premeditated
not calculated
not analyzed...
Teach me - i do so want to learn
i have scaled the heights
and plumbed the depths -
Oh teach me.
I seek lessons in territories of flesh and bone,
flying past treacherous towers of thought
i am pierced by minarets
and upon these heaven-skimming spires hang remnants of my hope,
fluttering in the sunset like tragic birds.
Still i say - teach me.
the lessons you hold are not for you alone
and through the teaching is the learning done.
Obedience i cannot grant.
i have long depleted my supply,
but by the molten drop of night in my eye
i bring a truth to share - elemental and ancient,
spun of earth and air and ever-changing.
So teach me and let us learn.
august 2007 ©2007mtegzes
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latcho drom (ode to a fellow traveler)
to love the soul that struggles
- the heart that quivers with apprehension and desire.
to love the mind that searches
- the spirit that strives and glimmers with fire.
beyond the vexation of disapproving eyes
beyond the constriction of societal ties
across the girded borders, where no judgment lies,
into the garden...
may/june 2007 ©2007mtegzes
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Down with the Gum Flappers!
Here's an interesting thing: when you've been bullied as a child (and other times) for just being who you are, you can actually develop a healthy disdain for any GUM FLAPPERS who cross your path throughout your life. Jealousy and/or general small mindedness are unfortunately ever present in this world. And, like weapons, people wield these DEFORMITIES OF THE MIND.
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Promoting the concept of the Poetic Being!
I believe in the Poetry of Existence and will defy any and all forces which threaten to undermine and/or crush that Poetry!
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march '07
Some things never really leave you. People go, but the energy of them remains. Sadly, though - it's just an imprint - a shadow of what was. Not enough! Not by a long shot. Music may vividly recall their presence - a mischievous glint in the eye, a cheshire grin...warmth and risk and something so unexpected, you still marvel at its force. there is no sense to it really. ah...the persistence of memory...
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"The more I see..."
The "vain pursuit"...and yet what propels us, if not for this? Nihilistic today. People are not for USING. Some of us do have lofty pursuits. Some lofty pursuits turn bad. Some destructive pursuits can actually prompt lofty ones - or at the very least CONSTRUCTIVE ones. So what does it all mean? Really? I know the most recent Chili Peppers recording came out a while ago, but there's a line that just stays and stays with me: "The more I see, the less I know/The more I'd like to let it go."
And so why do we expect anyone to know more than we do? Those people do exist I think - the truly wise. But they are so few and far between. My dad was one of them. But unfortunately, I have not the depth, nor perhaps the inherent ability, to have gleaned this from him.
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New? Who Knew? (Cathartika Rising) - January 27, 2007
In the blink of an eye –
With the snap of a finger –
Everything can change…
Topsy-turvy, table turning,
No more stomach churning-
With the memory of sweet Naiveté fighting for air in the smothering lap of brutality,
Sprouting wings of coal crystal,
The Degraded rises up from a prison of misguided trust –
Shattering Shame is itself shattered and scattered
When once upon a time, it was all that mattered.
Who takes something precious and nearly divine
only to pervert it into a sniveling crime?
Where Loathing seeped its poison sap, sickening all at the root,
Where it pinned down innocence beneath its weighty boot,
The dirt now squirms with a riot of birth
And an angel takes form from out of the earth.
Donning a cloak of mud and slime,
No pride, no concern for the boundaries of Time,
She lets go a scream, a tribal cry ( - jaleo!)
That rips through hatred, bleeds it dry,
Until it withers and falls away.
This is the new seraph of today.
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Cante Jondo
At the threshold of pain - the human heart,
balanced precariously in aching opposition between calamity and joy -
shuddering for relief - for release.
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If original sin actually exists, I’m going to hazard a guess that it was borne of the ego. I know I’m always slammin’ the ego, but really – as soon as we seek to protect (repress), control (oppress), or outsmart, we’re quite screwed, no? We put our life force into suspension, denying our connection to the universe, thus becoming utterly singular and isolated beings, disengaged and alienated – all desperately searching for somewhere to belong – or at the very least, for a place to HIDE. Am I wrong?
How many times have we connected with another person – unexpectedly, but very enjoyably, only later to over analyze and dissect the experience? What prompts this reaction? All together now: FEAR!!
Which brings me back to “beginner’s mind -” that phenomenon of open doors, which would usher us into any number of territories. But then the moment comes when, faced with innumerable possibilities, we all too often become paralyzed by fear, questioning the legitimacy of those possibilities, becoming enmeshed in DOUBT - allowing it to virtually EMBALM us, thus corrupting the limitlessness of being truly alive.
There really is nothing but the moment. And the moment is eternity. How do we get back to this? To exist genuinely in the moment? We are not taught such lessons. When we’re young, it’s all about the future, accomplishments, and acquisitions. When we’re older, it’s about maintaining the status quo, letting go of dreams (because that’s just silly for older folks), and reminiscing about “the good ol’ days.” In all of this to-ing and fro-ing, where is the moment – the one true gift of divinity? I think it’s right there in the center of everything, spinning and shining, trying to catch our blind eye, always offering itself and perhaps even yearning to be activated – to bloom with all the colors of light as it moves wondrously through one life-span into the next. Perhaps this is the nature of reincarnation – the ever renewing MOMENT.
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Observation (july 2006)
the male me - standing apart - a subject outside its element - divorced from its poetry - searching, searching for a rhyme
(home)~
the graffiti on the side of a boxcar - disenfranchised youth struggling for a voice - the lone disciple at the foot of the cross - he, who knows too much and feels even more~
innocence found in drastic acts of profanity~
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Mythical Symbiosis
Sailor and Siren... The siren is the sailor's true mate, his HOME. And his attraction to her lives within her. She sings because his dreams and desires have awakened the essence of her soul to music, to the OM, the primordial seed of life. She is the manifestation of his seeking - the realization of all his imaginings. The siren is the sailor's truth; and he is her breath.
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Getting Existential
When I read the words of the Flamencos, I often see my own emotions - right there, as raw and naked as I'm feeling them. To see such extreme passion - it is more than comforting to know that out in the vast Somewhere, through veils (and vales) of Time, there is understanding - immediate, enveloping, and sadly beautiful in its eternal longing.
Are we not extensions of each other's longing, searching for "completion" - or balance, let's say? A child comes to this world and immediately learns longing. I know that's a "downer," but it's rather the truth. Of course, one might conversely argue that a child is brought into the world as a physicalization of hope.
But hope for a thing is not the thing itself. And is not hope, as important to the human condition as it may be, an offshoot of longing?
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"Acceptance" ???
There have been times when I've tried to "move on," or "let go." However, such pat, little platitudinous phrases can really fall dismally FLAT. I want to learn not to fool myself. That's what so much of life seems to be aimed at - fooling (lulling) us into some state of mindless submission, which is euphemistically referred to as "acceptance." This has never occurred to me in quite this way before. So as usual, I'm running with it - and seeing where it takes me.
And oh - it brings me to that Energy deal again!!! We are bidden to neutralize our volatile energy so that it will not offend. I'm not going to refer to energy as "negative" or "positive." Energy simply IS. The sublimation and repression of it can lead to it being released in a negative manner. Why? Because you can't deny its motion. You want to try, but it just simmers and bubbles down inside your gut until it can be contained no longer. And then it manifests as - for some yes, the commission of crime - but even more often, among the majority of people, as personal "drama," mental anguish, physical pain and/or illness as your body becomes trapped in its own feed-back loop.
Now - I do think that concentrating on achieving acceptance can work for some folks. I - on the other hand - have NEVER mastered this ability. Quite far from it, I've FAILED miserably. And then, oh - how I will beat myself up for such shameful failure. So - I don't accept my inability to adopt acceptance. HA!! How do you like that! Yeah - one thing I think I might finally be able to accept is that I totally SUCK at acceptance!!
The energy of inacceptance is real and living and VALID. Maybe it's a lot less comfy than acceptance, but it can certainly be productive if acknowledged constructively. And if one can allow it to flow - rather than ex-(or im-)plode as a result of being bottled up - then positive action - creation rather than destruction - can be borne out of it.
I sometimes struggle so very hard to "let go," (which is a contradiction in terms isn't it?) that all I'm really doing is denying my deepest feelings. Perhaps I am not as evolved as many others. Okay. Well, there's another thing I can accept.
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random ramblings to a stranger (whose first name begins with)...
...I have to tell you that there is one thing in particular that I admire about you: and that is - that you seem to have figured out a way to live without giving up your heart and soul at every turn. I just keep laying it down - my heart. I never f*#king learn. All my life - ALL of it that I can remember - it has been the only motivating factor - my heart. And over and over again, like that same little girl who's dearest friend (Kathy) died one summer too long ago, I can't seem to avoid the ache that life etches into a heart.
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(premature?) Departures
And how about those other summers when friends "checked-out..." Those seasons came so quickly and disturbingly in succession. One night your talking at a party - he tells you he's going to join the air force. A little over a month later you're sitting up in bed with a sick feeling in your stomach and you find out there's a funeral you must go to. One day she's living in Colorado, a sprite among the mountains (and you know you haven't written in a while, but you really mean to). And then suddenly, she has left this place for good on the back of a motorcycle. How you are missed, dear friends.
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Some thoughts on Beauty (from someone who has spent much of her life NOT feeling beautiful)
What makes ugliness? 1) Intolerance, 2) Superiority, 3) Inferiority, and last - but certainly not least, 4) FEAR.
Isadora Duncan has written and spoken very inspiringly about beauty. I won't go into it here, but her words still ROCK. Check 'em out.
And......
Check out the art of Joel-Peter Witkin. Here is a man whose vision is so unfettered - what I will call "universal," he sees beauty in places many others would not. To me - he reveals the beauty that at times is hidden beneath the blinders of CONVENTION.
Beauty, in my opinion, is not about the values we IMPOSE upon a subject. It is embracing the subject itself - its essence and energy - even as it may confound or frighten us. Transcending those fearful reactions to take in as much as we can - moving toward acceptance. And in treading beyond our former limited view, we discover previously unimagined vistas. We merge with the subject. This unity between one and another is perhaps the most exquisite incarnation of beauty.
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DON'T LIVE ON CONTINGENCY!
that's all - just DON't
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Encounter, Energy (as always), and Inevitability
There are times when you meet someone and feel you've somehow-somewhere-sometime known each other before. There is a kind of resonance between your spirits. You share a similar nature. And whether consciously or not, each one knows it. These opportunities don't come along too often; and it's sad when fear gets in the way, because there's no telling when the cycle will come around again. I think one should embrace the mystery and simply rejoice - celebrate the exquisite gift of reunion.
There are forces of creation that move with no regard for societal convention. What do we do when propelled by such power? Each must make their own choice, of course. But if that power is ignored or opposed, a whole other sequence of events can become unleashed. Energy will not be denied.
Like a wave in the ocean... Maybe you catch the wave, but if you panic, you're going to wipe out. The wave, on the other hand, keeps right on going, impervious to human whim or frailty. INEVITABLE.
which leads me to.......
........A recent bit of poetry
Chantey
The wrench has been flung free and the wheel is spinning.
Lifetimes of energy come pealing off in waves –
indefinable
unquantifiable
undeniable.
All around us TRUTH is ALIVE.
We breathe it in and know, down to our very cells,
that so much we’ve come to believe is the sebum of impermanence.
And that beneath our entropy stirs the realm of Always and Ever.
You and I – we know each other,
we’ve known each other before
and we’ll know each other again.
The waves that wash ashore will always rejoin the Eternal Sea.
©2006mtegzes
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Don't be a bonsai!!
Some people (too many) seek to put the brakes on us - and themselves as well. They want to squelch the passion right out of everyone and everything. When I say "passion," I mean life force. And some people are always trying to suppress it or deny it in one way or other.
Buy hey, isn't that the history of the human race? The more oppressive cultures, because their passions have been repressed and thus demand re-direction (triggering very unhealthy appetites) have been impelled to conquer new lands and peoples - to suck the life force from these peoples, and to propagate oppression, thus perpetuating the need - the HUNGER - for further conquest/repression, and on and on...
Figures of "authority" do it to so-called "underlings" all the time. How did this code of behavior become established? Or is it simply that it was always so - that it is the ever-present condition of this realm of existence? (UGH!)
And most of us just accept it, don't we? My dad used to say that he was too old to start one (which he really wasn't), but that there needs to be a revolution (in the US, at least). He never did specify exactly what sort of revolution it should be. And I can't say I have any bright ideas on that front. Although I do believe that just changing how we think - refusing to knuckle under to authoritative control...One moment at a time of rejecting the claptrap of the agents of oppression and repression when we catch ourselves succumbing...That would seem to be a step in the right direction.
Always when I teach, I encounter students who approach singing with fear. I've done it too - coming at singing with a sense of protection, as if waiting for some big hand to come and swat me down. Yeah, so if you stay really small and as insignificant as possible, that hand may pass you over - or at least when you get swatted, you'll have a shorter distance to fall and won't crash so hard. Isn't that a marvelous way to live?????
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Right there, we can revolutionize that way of thinking. One of the founders of Butoh dance, Tatsumi Hijikata (1928-86), has said: "Don't mince your steps, take a giant step!...One shouldn't become a bonsai. Believe in your own energy and don't let yourself be affected by others." (Butoh: Shades of Darkness; Jean Viala and Nourit Massion-Sekine; 1988; Shufunotomo, Co., Ltd., Tokyo, Japan).
If you don't know what Butoh dance is, here's a link you might want to check out: http://www.butoh.net
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Just Wondering
What if you dance as if everybody's watching and loving it - and dancing with you - because it's a celebration of health, freedom, and self-expression. What about that?
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On Karma
Karma is energy: action-reaction, yes? So it follows that the energy which motivates a particular action is the energy one is putting out into the universe. If something is done out of spite, anger, vengeance, etc. that's what the universe absorbs; and - when it comes back around, a person could well be screwed. However - if action is taken in the pursuit of - and with the intention of - genuine, warm HUMAN CONNECTION, with no ill will directed toward anyone - if that something is done out of joy and pure delight, then that is the energy that will permeate the universe. And that is good.
...commentary always welcome...
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“Beginniner’s Mind”
It seems to me I’ve read somewhere, in my exploration of Buddhist thought, of this concept of “Beginner’s Mind.” Right – that wonderful energy of the beginner – before ego or “small mind” wheedles its way into the picture. Before things get so complicated and convoluted. Oh, and how we make them so.
The beginner’s mind is the fertile field that continually flourishes and then renews itself. What a precious, precious state of being this is. It is the state in which ALL possibility exists. It is the true essence of creation.
And we do have the power to embrace life with a perpetual beginner’s mind, though it’s not easy, goodness knows.
With a beginner’s mind, there is purity to one’s motivation. The beginner’s mind, in the Buddhist context - as I understand it, does not anticipate impediment or defeat. It will not support or invite fear. It is a loving mind – or an environment that invites, entices, and draws love. Yes? Or perhaps it is love, itself. I don’t know; I’m just throwing some ideas out there, you see.
The beginner’s mind does not have EXPECTATIONS of a particular outcome. It TRUSTS whatever may come.
Beginner’s mind is not a mind on overdrive – not a used-up, frightened, cringing, desperate, and needful mind. It does not HABITUATE or FIXATE - doesn’t require the crutch of clinging to patterns.
Now I know that I do tend to take philosophical and religious concepts and rather “stretch” them, don’t I? But isn’t that another aspect of beginner’s mind? No restriction, no confinement – utter flexibility. Beginner’s mind is the CONSTANT DISCOVERER. No calculation, no repetition, no fear of consequence - always Newness. Beginner’s mind functions outside of TIME (or our perception of time, anyway).
How about this for a whacky idea: Beginner’s Mind IS THE GARDEN OF EDEN; and it exists in each and every one of us (or in most of us anyway). The “tree of knowledge” isn’t the actual problem – it’s EGO (small mind) that is the problem, yeah – taking knowledge and using it against another or oneself – perverting it into a weapon of power and control. That’s one big TRESPASS – coveting and undermining the “knowledge” of others rather than embracing an opportunity to share and grow through sharing. Can’t you just hear the gates to the Garden slamming shut – right inside your soul. BANG – and you’ve flung yourself as far from your own inherent divinity as you can get.
But it’s still there – that Garden – all alive and awaiting your return. Any time you make the choice – the gates will open to you. Still - it’s no lie that making that choice can be the most elusive – most difficult in the universe. And why? Because we are very silly beings.
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Fear and a Victim's Extrication
I think I've always carried with me various mantles of fear. And remnants of these - even as I might have torn them from me - have yet remained, becoming intertwined and binding me up all the same. Yes, I'd accumulate one, become frustrated, and tear it to ribbons. Then on to the next "cloak," and the next extrication; and more ribbons trailing, tangling together in absurd configurations. And on and on until I couldn't tell flesh from fetter. And maybe eventually, there is no difference. YUCK! Could that be?
Oh - and what detritus cleaves to the ganglia of reconfigured ribboning, rendering ponderous - and sometimes painful - all movement. I don't want the mosses growing there to take root. THIS IS NOT WHO I AM. I am more than a coagulation of fears, and battles with fears (some lost, some won). I am, aren't I???
And when I look around - more often than not I see other coagulations fussing and fretting amidst their own tithes. Many are proud of their trailing trash. Others are mystified - feckless and confused. Most seem to be unaware that they are in a cage of their own making. Or is that the point? The one with the biggest cage wins? If so - please, count me out of that contest.
There are times when I think I'd like to go through and mark each instance in my life when I allowed fear to cloud my judgment - or dictate my actions. What a mind blowing sum that would be to one screwed up equation. Talk about karma!!
But there is no looking back, right? I mean the time is NOW. So I must continue to practice being awake to the moment (exquisite gift of the natural universe that each moment is). And I must continue to learn to recognize fear in all its clever incarnations, for truly, fear is the thief of Eternity.
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On Self-consciousness
Okay, self-awareness – good. Self-consciousness – oh so WRONG!! And not only do I see it everywhere, I also feel myself succumb to its insidious draw. Ever have a stretch of time when you’d shed your self-consciousness? Rockin’! Things just fall into place.
What purpose does self-consciousness serve?? To fuel the struggle/baseless desire for STATUS and the retention thereof.
Self-consciousness spurs the need for control: and thus, subjugation.
It steers us away from plain speaking – from truth. And makes us fearful of others. We are compelled to hide, to pretend, to defend – and to offend.
Self-consciousness leads to all sorts of destructive behaviors: comparing ourselves to others. Do we measure up? Are we better than, wealthier than, prettier than, thinner than, sexier than, more powerful than… So who was the big stinking brain trust that decided what that standard should be anyway? And how/why the hell did we ever buy into it?
We give up our inherent power, our own unique aspects – our naturalness. We fear judgment; and from that we create insecurities, which lead to defenses, which lead to the need for release, escape, vengeance…And we forget who we truly are, because we’ve tried so damned hard to be who we think others want us to be. And in that forgetting, we lose the essence of being alive. We struggle to sustain illusions and impressions – wasting precious energy. We build defenses and cut ourselves off from the divine. Vulnerability is seen as a societal blight, but it is our greatest strength. It is the only way to keep a spirit airborne.
I think civilization is programmed to propagate, because children, in their wonderful, unabashed naturalness, reveal these flaws to us. They remind us of innocence that we know we've lost sight of, and believe we cannot regain. Yet what do we do? We make sure that as a child grows, we instill in them the same flaws. Why don’t we change course? It's past time for it!! Those who try (thankfully some do actually succeed) are often met with ridicule and staunch opposition.
BE LIKE THIS and BE LIKE THAT. If you think for yourself, you’re screwed. You’re a weirdo – yea, verily, a damned creep. But we’ve got to stop this. Why should anyone come into this world, if their individuality is not meant to flourish?????
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The Possibility of Greatness
It seems to me that humans have been designed for great things. Some of us even accomplish them. But I’m afraid that far too many don’t even believe this to be true in the first place. It’s like the Forces of Creation have bestowed upon us a great gift and we just end up playing with the box it came in.
“Limitations” – a myth perpetuated and perpetrated by the power hungry of every age. “The little man” – a label imbued with a despicable power of suggestion. The repercussions of this phrase and its centuries of use are our legacy. We see them – live them everyday. We buy into this concept of division, of difference and compartmentalization. I suppose that is how gangs and hate groups and cults gather their crop of humans, like colossal scythes slicing through whole populations.
What the hell is going on! Are we not in a kind of waking sleep?
“The little man!” There is no such thing. By virtue of our humanity every one of us is endowed with divine substance – designed for greatness in as many ways and on as many levels as greatness can be manifested. And that’s a lot of ways and levels, baby!
Civilization has been structured in such a way that it feeds back on itself!
“The little man. The big honcho,” or “The man,” as in “working for...” Limitations and labels and libels and used up baseless categories. All positions have been filled. Let’s move on, shall we?
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Some Thoughts On Depression
Okay - let's get this straight!!! Depression is NOT A CHOICE!!! It is a force independent of the individual. If you don't believe that, stop reading now and get the heck off my website!!!!
Ah - that's better...With that said - the independent force thing, I mean - let me qualify. I 'm not saying that we're not able to combat it or rise above it or whatever the best pro-active terminology would be, but the #%&#-er is tough. It's hungry and greedy and low-down. And I'm convinced that it sees me as a yummy snack - if not a full course prix fixe meal (which "prix" is simply pocket change for it). Every little goodness, every last sense of joy, the glimmer of intellect, the fire of instinct, and the spark of creativity are all just SLOP to this force of insatiability.
Is depression another form of energy? OR - like a quantum singularity, i.e. black hole, is it an energy sucker? I'm going with the black hole theory for now. Because depression dampens, blunts, obliterates everything - all that is human within us and all that's divine. In fact, something has just occurred to me. What if depression is the manifestation of every unfulfilled dream, every needful pang, every instance of intolerance throughout the ages? Like a reverberation of all the negative acts of humanity. Damn! That would account for its tenacity. Questions? Comments?
Anyway - we do fight it. But somehow, depending upon how we fight, it can leave us all the more depleted. How the hell does that work? Oh - because we fight/struggle out of FEAR. Yes, yes, I know I do. I start feeling those claws clamp around my ribcage, digging into my organs, crushing the breath out of my lungs. I feel those teeth sinking into my brain, leeching all the sense and sensation. And then, man oh man, the panic starts: How do I get free? How did I attract this thing to me in the first place? And oh my my, things start slipping and losing cohesion. There go my powers of perspective - spatial and otherwise - my wit and openness, my ability to feel and relate to others. There goes the sense of connection to anything, anywhere. All these are displaced by the desperate desire to HIDE. Thus is the depth and breadth of my FEAR REACTION.
And as for the depression, fear is simply a tasty condiment for the meal that is me.
Well, I know I'm always anthropomorphizing things. What can I say? The point is that when I stop panicking in reaction to depression, it starts to fall away; and I can feel my breath return. After all, breathing is fundamental (ha ha). Okay...and all the attributes of being alive are resuscitated within me. So the key to extricating myself from depression's hold on me is realizing my fear reaction. Anyhow - that's what I've come up with so far...
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Comparing the troubles of others with our own
What is it all about????? I have NEVER, EVER, EVER seen the purpose of citing examples of people in worse states of trouble to illustrate that your state by comparison is not as grave. We all know that there are people suffering and struggling more arduously than we are. And most of us are grateful not to be among them. I feel horribly for others who suffer and struggle through severe trials. I wish for them relief, release, balance, peace, ease, well-being, healing, contentment, lightness of spirit – all these things I wish for them very deeply and earnestly. However, that doesn’t change whatever is getting me down. It doesn’t change where I am in my very own situation. In fact, it just makes me feel more stupid and jerky – like what the hell’s wrong with me that I am so fortunate and yet, not effectively able to reap the fruits of that good fortune.
Of course, I understand the idea of perspective. However, perspective is really an intellectual concept, rather than emotional. My emotional response to knowledge of others’ terrible suffering is that of helplessness, consternation, and bewilderment. Further comparison with my own “suffering,” however benign, only fuels additional feelings of uselessness and insignificance.
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Beacons of Hope
It really is very, very important to be fiercely encouraging to people in dire straights. Even if the words, hugs, etc. are only perceived through a fog, they are like a beacon on the shore to the one floating out in dark waters. Sometimes we are the light calling someone back home and sometimes we are lost at sea in need of a guiding beam. Our birthright as members of the human race is to be as beacons of hope for one another. It is that simple.
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Time
Time just IS. It’s a force in the universe. And as far as the “progression” of time – is this the motion of human existence? I think this is more of an illusion than we realize. We are led to believe that everything progresses in a linear fashion. So when life doesn’t turn out to be moving that way, it’s a real kick in the teeth.. And what’s with this: “Time heals all wounds” crap. It simply is not always so! Time does all sorts of things “to” us – it may allow wounds to fester and deepen, it may allow hearts to harden or hollow out...I think it is the Spirit that has the power to heal all wounds.
Existence is cyclical. Cycles are non-linear by nature. There is progression within a cycle, but it moves in a circular motion. And yet, time passes – there is physical growth and maturation. But that is all part of another larger cycle, no?
Does the passage of time cause our physical ageing? Or is it our concept of time’s passing that does it? The purpose of our existence may well be the perfection of our souls. Wisdom may be garnered with the passage of time. However, the spirit, I believe, is the constant in this ever-changing scenario. The spirit comes to this life in wholeness and then possibly spends life in service to the soul’s pursuit of perfection. And when I say "spends life,” I mean it.
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This World
There’s a lot about this world that disturbs me (I know I'm not alone, of course). And most of the time I really don't feel all that connected to it. There sure is a lot of ugliness. However, there is also a lot about this world that is beautiful. And I believe that most of that is Divinity seeping through – converging – like when all reality, ALL, every possible reality shares a moment of unity. In that moment it’s as if the realm of Heaven opens to us – around us – within us.
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Prose poem – 7/18/04
To be told and convinced that you were meant for Nothing. Oh, what an appetite this must breed for Something – Anything - to strive to be filled or to empty others of what they may possess.
A ravenous and indiscriminate appetite that demands only to be obeyed. Insatiable and desperately needful, lonely and empty. Humanity was not meant for this.
Or perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps humanity is meant for this and it is Eternity that is not.
On Collective Denial
How many fine, upstanding, moral, and ethical German citizens supported an atmosphere of denial as Hitler raged: “We just want to live our lives, raise our children, eat our daily meals, and wait for this thing to pass, as it surely must. This thing that is dark and remotely ugly, let it not touch us, let it be far from us, we, who are good and caring people...”
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Free Thought and Enlightened Discernment (with a little religion thrown in)
Most of us know that basic teaching: “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”
Well, right there we have a loaded statement, no? First of all, if you hate yourself, as God must surely know many do, where do you go from there? Just wondering...
I love this teaching. It provides me with a lifetime challenge. Sometimes it’s not such a challenge, but other times, yikes! Still, I am compelled to honor it, even if I may never master it.
Anyhow, when Jesus came out with that one, wasn’t that “like, totally bogus” to the adherents of the Old Testament. Up till then it was “an eye for an eye…a tooth for a tooth.” By comparison, “Love thy neighbor...” is a radical statement. So if we follow the example of this courageous, compassionate, revolutionary, and divine being, what are the deepest implications here? Was Christ not a free thinker? Did He not tear apart convention?
Jesus was and is a teacher. Now it seems to me that the greatest gift a teacher can bestow upon his students is the key to enlightened discernment. In other words, the best teachers never seek to dictate, but to guide and inspire. The student learns some basic precepts along with concepts and methods of application. Then each in his/her own way puts them into practice.